Avery McCormack

Hi! I am Avery. I am ten years old, and I play soccer.

I’ve been playing this sport my whole life. When I was three, I would beat all of the boys when we would race across the field during soccer practice. At six, I began playing club soccer and started playing with a team that was a year older than me. More recently, my team brought home a first place trophy from Spring League. But this past year my confidence started to fade. I didn’t believe in myself, and would get nervous stepping onto the field. When I had an open shot I would stop calling for the ball, because I was afraid that I would make a mistake and let the whole team down.

I knew that I needed to get my confidence back up, but I didn’t know where to start. So, I began researching ways to boost my confidence. I read some articles about confidence in young girls and was surprised to find out that girls between the age of 8 and 14 lose 30% of their confidence while boys still have 27% percent more (www.nyt.com). Just knowing this fact helped. I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling this way. Within two weeks, I was starting to feel more confident in myself. Another thing that helped me was listening to a really helpful audiobook, Confidence Code For Girls. What I really liked about this book was that it gave realistic examples and solutions that explained how other girls regained their confidence. One thing it taught me was that it was just my mind trying to trick me into thinking I shouldn’t be confident in myself. 

So, I would like to share with you some tricks I have learned to help me overcome my lack of confidence and my fear of making mistakes. The first very helpful trick was turning my negative thoughts into positive solutions. One example of this is when I would miss a shot, I would get frustrated at myself. But a more positive way to think about it is that I should practice the shot I missed. From this experience I learned that the more mistakes you make, the more you will learn from those opportunities. I was even trying to take a throw-in recently, and the ball slipped out of my hands and it barely went anywhere. I was immediately embarrassed. However, I soon found out that it wasn’t a big deal and my teammates were just laughing with me. It made me realize they have my back even when I mess up.

It is also super important to build a network of support. My biggest fan is my mom. When I lose my confidence, she always shows me old videos of me beating my opponent to the ball, goals that I scored, or crazy skills I just learned. It makes me feel special and realize that I am actually an amazing soccer player. My teammates, as well, are alway encouraging me to persist. I thank them very much for all the support they have provided for me. I was even surprised to find a supportive community with my Instagram account. There are so many encouraging and talented female soccer players on social media, all supporting and cheering one another on. With the help of my family and friends, I overcame my fear of making mistakes and learned to rely on my community to lift me up.

Another cool trick I learned is to try new things that make me uncomfortable. When you have success in something you’ve never tried before, you build your confidence. Right now in school, I am working on beating my fastest mile time, and being the fastest person in the class. My current record is one mile, ten laps around our school track, in seven minutes and fifty-five seconds, and I hope to improve soon. I am only 2 seconds off from being the fastest person in my class. I even joined the track team. Two months ago, I thought I was slow. But by trying something new, I’ve discovered that I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to.

The last trick is to set attainable goals for myself to help me feel confident in my decisions. That means I need to be able to complete it in the amount of time that I’m giving myself. Setting goals that are too hard can backfire and make you feel worse. I set a short term goal every month. This month I am working on speed. Speed of thought, speed of play, and speed of execution. Last month I focused on confidence. Setting goals helps me remember what I need to do. It is also always easier for me if I can visualize the steps. My long-term goal will require a lot of work, but if I continue to work this hard, I believe I can accomplish it. I wrote down that my long term goal was to be on the USWNT [ US Women's National Team].

Follow along on my journey on Instagram @megs.by.avery!